Okay, we've all seen the funny Chuck Norris facts out there. Feel free to share some funny ones!
I'll do a few first:




Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for Chuck Norris' basement.


Chuck Norris invented Black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pik.


With the rising cost in gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to wory about his drinking habit.


The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.


Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice


In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.


The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.


No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.

Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

Run, before he finds you
Try a different person



Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day

Chuck Norris's dog is toilet trained, cause Chuck Norris don't take shit from nobody.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of chuck norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down.

When Chuck Norris has sex he always has to be on top, because Chuck Norris never Flurks up.

What was going through the minds of all the Chuck Norris victims before they died? His shoe.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Preisdent Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

Before Jesus raised a man from the dead, he asked Chuck Norris to show him how.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

Crazy Fact (and true). Chuck Norris is 70 today. No shit.

Happy Birthday, Chuck. Please don't roundhouse kick me.

No way! I didn't think he was that old!

Chuck Norris doesn't age, he evolves.

Chuck Norris never has a bowel movement. He scares the crap out of himself.

Chuck Norris can cleanly stab someone with a ball.

If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.

Chuck Norris doesn't shop for clothes. He simply walks through isles and clothes throw themselves on him in fear of making him angry.

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

Chuck Norris invented Water.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming that Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris does not have heart attacks. His heart is not foolish enough to attack him.