BABES OF YORE # 7
TANYA ROBERTS
Of all the entries into the illustrious hall of the babes of yore, perhaps none is more iconic than Tanya Roberts. She has the distinction of being the last Charlie’s Angel to be chosen before the shows cancellation in 1981. Although her tenure in crime fighting heaven would be short-lived, Tanya went on to much bigger and better things throughout the decade.
In 1982 she was cast ( beating out an 18 year old Demi Moore) as Kiri the slave girl in Don Coscarelli’s cult classic The Beastmaster. Shortly before the movie hit theaters, Tanya took one for the team and did a nude pictorial in Playboy to help promote the film. Unfortunately this gesture didn’t help the film succeed at the box office but it will definitely earn her a roster spot if I ever decide to do a “Troopers of Yore” column ;-)
In 1984 Tanya starred in the title role of the wildly entertaining but financially disastrous film Sheena: Queen of the Jungle. This is the Tanya Roberts that I will always remember, half-naked, riding a zebra and shooting arrows at tanks. Despite the critical windfall of the summer “Not-buster” that Sheena eventually became, Tanya emerged from the mess relatively unscathed. I guess being a naked, blonde, jungle girl has it’s privileges?
Tanya then continued her iconography with a turn as the arm candy to a geriatric Roger Moore in his final turn as James Bond in 1985’s A View to a Kill. In a complete 180 degree turn from Sheena, Tanya was heavily and disappointingly clothed throughout the whole film and was unconvincing as a bookworm geologist. Seriously whoever cast Tanya Roberts to be a frumpy, blouse wearing scientist in a damn Bond movie should be strung up by their feet and beaten with cane knives!
After A View to a Kill ran it’s course, Roger Moore headed straight for his craft-matic adjustable bed at Shady Acres retirement home and Tanya Roberts slipped into mediocrity with almost a decades worth of Direct-To-Video fare like Purgatory, Night Eyes and Inner Sanctum. For those of you unfamiliar with these gems, they are absolutely terrible films….and you should do everything in your power to see them as quickly as possible! Trust your Uncle Swaf on this one.
Tanya closed out the 90’s with a long-running role on the hit “That 70’s Show” and has stayed busy doing various t.v. and movie projects. She can also be found on the convention circuit getting air-humped by a legion of nerdy fans who will always remember her as the naked blonde chick…. riding a zebra…. shooting arrows at tanks. I’d love to continue writing more about her but I’m late for the Super-con
Whether she’s mastering beasts, playing nurse maid to aging spies, or having pretend sex on Friday Night Cinemax Tanya Roberts will truly always be a Babe of Yore!
Subject: Tanya Roberts 
